


It's Gone

by Jarino



Series: Rima Lavellan, Herald of Andraste [26]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Amputation, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Limbs, Pain, Trespasser DLC, Trespasser Spoilers, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 06:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7606618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jarino/pseuds/Jarino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rima endures the agonizing process of losing her arm and is forced to make a difficult choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Gone

_Pain. Sharp, searing pain._

 

“Inquisitor!” Cassandra’s voice called out, laced with panic as Rima stumbled out of the Eluvian.

Her mark was flaring out of control, the green tendrils of energy snaking up her forearm, hissing and sizzling as it ate at her flesh. She tucked her arm to her side, her teeth gritting in pain as she fell to her knees.

“Maker’s breath, what do we do?” Dorian immediately rushed to her side, offering a hand of support, but unsure how to help.

Cole’s face mirrored Rima’s pain, though his expression was more akin to horror as he spoke her thoughts aloud. “It hurts, Creators, it hurts so much. I trusted him, how could he do this?”

_Solas. Have to…stop…_

 

Rima glanced up, a grimace plastered on her face, tears pricking her eyes. Her eyes met Cole’s, and with an anguished expression, she whispered a single word. “Help.”

He caught her meaning almost instantly and gave a grim nod, reaching for his blade.

 

_A lie. Everything was a lie._

Rima’s arm rested against a boulder, with Cassandra holding her upper arm in place so that she didn’t move too much. Her breathing was quick and uneven, her eyes squeezed shut so she didn’t have to watch.

“Dorian, prepare the gauze,” Cassandra said urgently, not looking up from the stone. “We will need to act quickly.”

He did as he was told, having been rendered silent by the situation at hand.

The pacing of Rima’s breathing was increasing dramatically and she trembled as another wave of pain pulsed through her arm.

“You must do it now,” Cassandra insisted, working harder to hold her in place.

Cole stepped forward, agony tearing at his features as he looked down at his friend. He healed the hurt; soothed the pain. And he was going to do just that.

With a single motion, he brought the dagger above his head before swinging it down in a hard, definite stroke.

A scream of utter anguish tore itself from Rima’s throat, her vocal chords straining at the sound.

 

_Hurts! It hurts! Hurts, hurts, hurts!!!_

“Quickly,” Cassandra urged. She applied pressure to the stump of the arm while Dorian worked rapidly to wrap the gauze around it. The cloth was pulled as tight as was possible, meant to keep her from losing too much blood before they reached the Winter Palace.

Rima’s forearm lay on the ground, the green energy still crackling and fizzling away at the flesh that remained.    

 

_Gone. It’s gone._

“Help me get her up.” Cassandra gradually got to her feet, attempting to support Rima’s limp body as she did so. Dorian and Cole rushed to her side, helping Cassandra lift her until her body was stretched across the warrior’s shoulders. She adjusted her posture slightly, ensuring she had a decent grip before setting off.

 

_Where will I wear it now?_

 

They followed their path back to the Crossroads as quickly as possible, knowing that time was of the essence. Cole tried to talk Rima through it all, but she was only half-conscious. Her eyes were glazed over; unfocused and hazy, with her occasionally mumbling something under her breath.

 

_What does it mean when it’s on the right hand?_

By the time they finally made it back through the last Eluvian, Rima’s awareness had dwindled significantly. Cullen was waiting for them, and the moment he saw how Rima was being carried, he assumed the worst.

“Maker, is she…?” His face was pale and ghostly, filled with fear as he looked at his wife’s limp body.

“She lives, Commander,” Cassandra said as she carefully set the woman down. “However…”

 

_Cullen…?_

That was when he noticed her arm. His breath left him in a sharp gasp and he gaped at her openly. “Maker’s breath…” he said at a whisper.

“We need a healer!” Dorian shouted urgently, pushing his way past the soldiers in search of one himself. He’d done all he could to keep her arm stable, but she needed a professional now.

Still stunned, Cullen fell to his knees, dropping to his wife’s side. He couldn’t describe in words how thankful he was for her to be alive, yet seeing what the Anchor had done to her…His heart swelled with grief for her. When her mark had flared up in the makeshift war room hours earlier, he’d been overcome with the overwhelming urge to protect her. Yet he had been powerless to stop her own hand from hurting her…He felt so utterly useless…

 

_Cullen! It’s gone…it hurts…I need you. I need you…_

“Cul…len…” A raspy whisper fell from Rima’s lips, her eyes barely cracked open.

Looking down at her, Cullen quickly grasped her right hand in his, pressing a desperate kiss against the knuckles. “I’m here, love,” he assured her, his voice somewhat hoarse. “I’m here…”

In a short amount of time, Dorian had reappeared with a healer in tow. The man in question bent down beside his patient, intent on analyzing the situation. He took a look at their impromptu job and instantly noticed how she’d already bled through the gauze. “It will need to be cauterized,” he evaluated with an even tone.

 

_What did they say? Cauter…? No…no! Bad! More pain! Bad!_

As Dorian held out his palm, offering fire for the healer to heat his tools, Rima let out a strained whimper. Her eyes were barely half open, yet they were filled with panic as she looked at Cullen. She tightened her grip on his hand insistently, trying to convey her fear.

“Hey, hey…It’s all right,” he soothed, squeezing her hand in return while he placed his other hand on her cheek in comfort. “Just focus on me, you’ll get through this. I know you’re strong – you can do it.”

Tears leaked from her eyes, but she managed a small nod, more sounds of distress escaping her mouth.

Carefully, the healer pulled the bandages away to reveal the still-bleeding wound, and with great precision, brought the cauterizing rod to her arm.

Rima released another sharp scream, her head tossing to the side as she tried to endure the pain.

 

_Burning,searing, scorching! Flesh turning to ash…Make it stop, make it stop!_

Her hand was clamped down around Cullen’s; squeezing so tightly he feared she might break it. But he didn’t allow himself to worry about that. He was much more concerned about her at the moment. He murmured soothing words to her, running his hand back and forth across her forehead and brushing her hair out of the way. He knew his actions weren’t doing much to ease the pain, but he felt the need to do _something_.

She soon lost consciousness after that; the pain evidently being too much to bear. At least she was still breathing, though.

By the time they’d sealed the wound, Cullen’s grip on her hand loosened, though he remained by her side. They cleaned the burned flesh, ensuring it wouldn’t get infected, before bandaging it properly.

Leliana had joined them in the room, looking worriedly at Rima’s unconscious body. “Josephine has stalled them as long as she can…As soon as Rima is awake, she will need to address them.”

Cullen let out a snort of aggravation. They couldn’t bother to give her a moment’s rest, could they? He didn’t say anything else though; not wanting to start an argument, and gave a nod of acknowledgement, which was Leliana’s signal to leave. Cassandra departed with her, having to return to her role as Divine now that they were out of harm’s way.

After an extended period of time, Rima’s eyelids finally fluttered open. Slowly, she turned to look up at Cullen, her gaze clearly confused. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, softly running his fingers along her palm.

“Cullen…” she murmured softly. “It’s…Creators, everything’ a mess…” She hesitated for a moment before disgust worked its way into her expression. “No, I shouldn’t say that anymore… _Fuck_ , I can’t even use my gods’ names in vain without feeling dirty…”

He looked down at her sadly, unsure what to say.

“Solas was Fen’Harel,” she said with a wry laugh. “He was the Dread Wolf all along…Was pulling me by the strings and had me dancing to his tune without me even knowing it…”

Cullen started, slightly put off-guard by her comment. From what she’d told him about elven lore, Fen’Harel was her religion’s equivalent of Maferath, if not worse. For her trusted friend to reveal himself as such – whether he was a god or not – had to be shocking, to say the least.

“He wants to tear down the veil,” she continued bitterly. “He’s convinced himself it’s the only way to ‘save the elves’, even though it would destroy the world…” Tears pricked her eyes as she furrowed her brows in anger. “It’s madness…He tells me all of this, takes the Anchor, and then doesn’t have the decency to give me a proper explanation for any of it…”

At her words, Cullen felt a sharp sting of anger. “The Anchor…? Did he – was he the one who…?”

She hesitated a moment before speaking. “The mark was originally his, so…indirectly, yes. As for if he took my arm? The answer is no.” She gave a low, heavy sigh. “He decided to take the power of the mark, yet it had already done so much damage to my arm…There was no saving it. He left me sitting in the dirt, and I had to stumble back to the others, who were able to help me…”

His brows creased in concern and he gently ran his hand along her upper arm, mindful of the tender flesh.

“He gave his orb to Corypheus…” she said with a sarcastic snort. “The Inquisition was just another of his pawns to bring his plans to completion…I’m willing to bet he had agents in our ranks from the very beginning…”

Rima was quiet after that, and Cullen made no effort to fill the silence. He was at a bit of a loss for words, if he was to be honest.

Eventually, she spoke up, her voice low and serious. “We have to end it…He knows how badly I want to stop him. And if we can’t even trust our own people, we won’t have any hope of accomplishing that…”

He hummed thoughtfully, continuing to rub circles into her palm. “Whatever you think is best…I’ll follow you anywhere; you should know that by now.” His remark was followed by a lopsided smile, his tender gaze focused on her.

She met his smile easily, despite the circumstances, and let out a soft sigh before closing her eyes. When she opened them again, she was staring up at the ceiling with intense concentration. She remained deep in thought for a while before returning her attention to Cullen. “Help me get dressed, would you? I can’t address the council like this…”

“Of course,” he replied, allowing a bit of amusement into his voice as he helped her sit up.

“Cassandra has the writ from Divine Justinia as well, right? If possible, I’d like someone to bring it…It’s not necessary, but it would certainly make the moment a little more dramatic, don’t you think?”

Bringing her to her feet, he chuckled. “Hoping to get everyone’s attention, are you?”

Though her expression had been grim moments before, a bright grin stretched onto her face. “I’m only living up to my reputation. I entered this mess by falling out of the Fade…It’s the least I can do to make as much of a fuss when I leave.”

Smiling at her warmly, he brought her closer. Settling his hand along the stump of her arm, he mumbled, “We’d best get started then.”

**Author's Note:**

> I tried a slightly different writing style with this drabble...Hopefully it was successful, if not, then ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
